The Outsourced Parent

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© Copyright 2006 New York Magazine. All rights reserved.

New York Magazine - September 20, 2006

Compiled By Merry Zide, Ariel Brewster, Janelle Nanos, Nitasha Tiku, Wesley Wade, and Amy Zavatto

The hands-free, do-nothing, price-is-no-object guide to rearing a child from conception to college.

Perhaps you've been told that having a child is a 24-hour-a-day job. But it doesn't have to be your job--not for a moment. Nannies have been around for centuries, but in New York--the leading edge of parental avoidance--it is now possible to outsource more-advanced child-rearing functions as well, such as shopping for clothing, going on college visits, and even initiating those awkward talks about, well, you know. How much would it cost to replace yourself entirely for eighteen years--until your child's driver drops him off at the dorm? Here's a rough (indeed) analysis.

Why bother, when you can hire someone else to ...

. IMPART GOOD BREEDING

For [$300 - $450] an hour, image consultant Samantha von Sperling can help your teen affect the illusion of proper parental supervision, through etiquette lessons, personal shopping, and style guidance.

Total: [$3,500] (ten hours)

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Download Original Article (593 kilobyte pdf)
© Copyright 2006 New York Magazine. All rights reserved.